At the Movies: Twilight
by LadyKatie
Summary: #4 in the "Harry and Draco at the Movies" series. Harry still doesn’t appreciate Draco’s taste in movies, or Twilight. H/D slash.


**Summary: Harry still doesn't appreciate Draco's taste in movies. Fourth installment in the "Harry and Draco at the Movies" series. H/D slash.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Twilight. I had a dream one time where I owned both Daniel Radcliffe and Robert Pattinson… but that's an entirely different matter altogether. No money is being made and no copyright infringement is intended.**

**Author's Note: This idea came to me while in the shower… yes, I think about fictional (and hot) characters while in the shower. Don't judge me! (And for anyone who's interested, the fifth At the Movies, featuring Queer as Folk, is nearly finished and I hope will be posted in the next few weeks—my muse returned!)**

Harry and Draco at the Movies: Twilight  
By Lady Katie

"_No one will surrender tonight. But I won't give in. I know what I want."_

_Alone in the gazebo, Edward and Bella dance at the prom. They don't know that above them lurked Victoria, waiting for a time when she could avenge James' death._

_End credits._

"Well," said Draco excitedly, "what did you think?"

Harry stretched and yawned. It felt like he'd been sitting there for hours.

"Er… it was… The guys in it were hot, just like you said."

"But what did you think?"

"Honestly? He was a stalker. Following her around town and sneaking into her room to watch her sleep?"

"He followed her to help her out!"

"He didn't know she was going to need help! Just because your stalker prevents a mugging doesn't mean he's not still a stalker! And that whole thing about climbing in her window to watch her sleep thing? She wasn't nearly as freaked out about that as she should have been! In a normal situation she should have said "get the hell away from me, creepy stalker." Now I'd say that maybe she didn't react like that because it's never a good idea to piss off vampires, but the stupid little girl didn't even have the sense to be scared of getting close to dangerous magical creatures!"

Draco started to say something, to defend his beloved characters, but Harry interrupted, still not done with his rant.

"And that's another thing! They were supposed to be vampires? They didn't look anything like vampires. Snape looked more like a vampire than _that_!"

"I don't know; they are pale."

"So are you and you're not a vampire. Vampires aren't that…"

"Pretty?"

"Yes! They're too pretty!"

"Get over it. This was written by a muggle. They don't know anything about real vampires. Just a bunch of Dracula stories."

"And I have never met a vampire who could read anyone's mind!"

"Fictional characters, Harry."

"Fiction is one thing; this is about something that's real, but it's all wrong."

"It's not real to muggles. I was only asking for your opinion of a fictional work for entertainment, not a full comparison between the fiction and reality."

"Fine. I'll judge the fiction. The best part of the whole movie was the dumb girl's dad. He had the perfect sense of humor and he was the only one in the whole story who acted like a real person. The vampires were either stalkers, incredibly self-absorbed or just completely unreal. The kids from the school were complete morons."

"No different than the kids from our school were at that age."

"Speak for yourself. When I was seventeen I was killing Dark wizards."

Draco rolled his eyes. "Yes and that's a normal, everyday occurrence for most seventeen-year-olds."

"I'm just saying."

"You just don't want to like the movie because I picked it out."

"Yes, that's exactly it. It doesn't have anything to do with bad acting, a shaky script and weak lead characters."

Draco huffed and crossed his arms over his chest. Harry picked up the DVD case and studied the picture for a moment, frowning.

"That bloke who played Edward looked kinda familiar though."

"Oh, er…" Draco squirmed uncomfortably. "Yes, he played Cedric Diggory in one of your movies."

The shift in Harry's mood was lightening fast. "They're not _my_ movies. They belong to that Rawlings woman--"

"_Rowling_, Harry. She's J.K. Rowling."

"—and that kid, Daniel Heathcliff—"

"Radcliffe."

"Whatever. They are not _mine_."

Draco rolled his eyes. Apparently Harry really was still bitter about the stories based on his life. Draco should have known better than to bring them up at all ever since he made Harry watch one of them.

"Does he ever do films that aren't targeted to teenage girls?"

"He's hot though, right?"

"Yes, but that's not the point."

"Yes, okay, fine." He had to say something to get the subject of conversation away from anything that was in any way connected to Rowling's books. Then Draco remembered something else that Harry had said. "What did you mean by 'weak' characters?"

"They were. Bella was extremely weak. She's too thick to heed the big, flashing neon 'run away' signs and just keeps getting closer to the vampires. When she finally has the sense to feel any fear it's because she's afraid of losing him? I nearly vomited with the saccharine sweetness of it. The girl has absolutely no survival instincts. She goes to the ballet studio alone to save her mum. Does she honestly believe that if her mum was even there the vampire would have just traded one life for the other? I don't think so.

"And what's with the self-sacrificing anyway? Running off to live with her dad, just because she thinks it will make her mum happy? She's obviously completely miserable with him. She doesn't seem to like any of the kids at the school either, but she stays because that's what she does. She's self-sacrificing."

Draco's jaw hung open. He really couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"You, of all people, are condemning self-sacrificing behavior? Are you kidding me?"

He started to laugh uncontrollably at the irony.

"What?"

"She moved to a town she didn't like. _You_ broke into Gringott's to steal pieces of Voldemort's soul, faced him in battle and went out into the woods fully believing that you were going to _die_! You are the last person on earth who can accuse someone else of being too self-sacrificing!"

Harry was taken aback by Draco's assessment, but finally mumbled, "That's completely different."

Draco snorted in barely contained laughter. "Mm-hm. Very different. Yep." He giggled some more as he stood from the sofa.

"Where are you going?"

"To write to Granger and Weasley. They're going to love this one." He shook his head, still laughing, and made his way to the next room where his parchment and ink were. "Better, yet, I'll floo call them. Ha! Self sacrificing. That's great!"

Harry could hear him still laughing to himself from his writing desk. He crossed his arms over his chest, sulking. Edward and Bella's faces looked up at him from the front of the DVD box, mocking him. He picked it up and scowled.

"Well, at least I'm not a stalker."

**A/N: Attention Twilight fangirls. Please don't hurt me. No disrespect was intended toward Edward or Bella. :)**


End file.
